Pants are Dumb

Can we all agree that pants are stupid?  They’re impossible to shop for, they cost too much, and they never perform the way you want them to.  They’re always either too loose or too small or too short or too long…bah, pants suck.  Their only saving grace is that you only need to wash them every 5-6 washes.

So for the most part when I’m working, I’m a skirt or dress kind of girl.  I’ve found that dresses are awesome for work.  The best part about them is that you put on a dress and everyone says things like “Oh wow!  You’re wearing a dress, you’re all fancy!”  What they don’t realize is a dress is the laziest thing possible to wear.  You throw it on and you’re good.  You don’t have to match it with a top or anything.  They’re awesome, but not what this post is about.

Anyway, pants suck.  And jeans suck even more than pants do.  I’ve basically been surviving with one pair of jeans for the last year or so, but now it appears I may have some options on my hands thanks to finally being able to somewhat-comfortably wear some B.V. jeans.  That’s Before Vivian jeans.  We’re talking about a couple of pairs that I haven’t worn in like 2 years, people.  This is big time.

So let’s take a look.  This is my current pair of jeans.  I bought them like not even a month ago and now they’re driving me crazy.  Nothing fancy, just Old Navy jeans.  Sure, they look okay here, but these are the kind of demon jeans that magically grow 2 sizes as soon as you wear them for 10 minutes.  Next thing I know, these are falling off of my non-existant butt and are only being held up by my giant former-hockey-player thighs.  Pants that always need to be washed?  Not my favourites.

I also note that there seems to be a grease stain of some sort on the leg.  I’m awesome.

But here’s the really big news – these are my favourite jeans.  And yes, they might still be tight, but I think I can almost get away with wearing them out in public.  Especially if paired with some sort of distracting flowy top.

Note the ass-pocket detail.  This is a trick to make it appear that I have some sort of butt.  It probably doesn’t work as well as I think though.

This was the real surprise – these are my skinny jeans.  The ones I don’t dare wear unless I’m feeling really good.  Definitely not going to be wearing these bad boys out any time soon, but the fact that I can button them up and continue to breathe is a pretty good sign.

Once again, ass-pocked details are my friend.

Yes, this post was basically an excuse for me to show off that I can wear some normal person clothes again.  Yay for me!

Here’s a little out-take from when I tried to do this the other day.  I was trying to show off the ass-pocket detail and Vivian decided to check out the dirty mirror.  This pretty much sums up my parenting style – taking pictures of my ass for the blog while Vivian bumbles around.  Yep.

Where do you like to get your jeans?  How many wears do you go before washing?  I may never wash my favourite jeans again – I’m terrified they will never fit!


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