Perhaps the question I’ve struggled with most in the year since the wedding is “Was it worth it?” We had a pretty low-key wedding and managed to cut a lot of corners on costs to keep it practical and not soaring into down payment on a house territory, but it was still a chunk of change. Was it worth it for just one day?
We decided to have a wedding because I felt very strongly that it was something to share with our families. Having a wedding wasn’t just about having a party for me, it was about standing up in front of our friends and families and saying “We want to be together for the rest of our lives. It’s not going to be easy, so we need to know that you support us and will be there for us when it gets hard. Will you help us?” That was a wedding to me. The flowers, the gifts, the dancing, the dress, all of that was just a bonus. I would have been perfectly happy going down to City Hall and having the wedding be about just the two of us (although this wasn’t an option at the time, you can do this now in London!). The end result would have been the same. My mantra through the planning was “The wedding is a success if we both sign that paper by the end of the day. That’s all that matters.” We got the paper signed, we had a great time and we moved on.
Is having a wedding the right choice for everyone? Of course not. Some people don’t believe in it, some people aren’t comfortable with the idea of a couple hundred people staring at you, some people think it’s just plain silly. In the end, we did what felt right for us and we haven’t regretted it for a second.
That’s what success looks like.